Whether venting is good for you depends on what you mean by venting and what happens during the conversation. Explaining a difficult experience to someone who listens is different from repeatedly rehearsing an argument or encouraging each other to become angrier.
There is no guarantee that talking will leave you calmer, clearer or less upset. This guide separates research about anger from everyday conversations for support, and offers questions to help you decide what you want from a chat.
What do people mean by venting?
The word can describe anything from saying “I had a difficult day” to shouting, posting an angry message or telling the same story repeatedly. Those activities are not interchangeable. A claim about one does not necessarily apply to all the others.
Before a conversation, ask yourself what you are hoping for. Do you want to describe something without advice, understand your reaction, consider a practical step or simply have company? You do not need a polished answer, but naming the purpose can help you explain what you need.
What research says about releasing anger
A 2024 meta-analysis by Kjærvik and Bushman examined 154 studies involving 10,189 participants. Activities that reduced physiological arousal reduced anger and aggression overall. Activities that increased arousal were ineffective overall, and the authors did not find support for venting anger as an effective anger-management approach.
This challenges the idea that anger must be discharged by becoming more worked up. It does not mean every conversation about an upsetting event is harmful. The review concerned anger-management activities and outcomes, not proof that a particular befriending call will help or harm an individual.
Feeling temporarily satisfied after expressing anger is also a different question from whether anger or aggression decreases. Avoid treating the idea of “getting it all out” as a reliable treatment.
Talking for support is a different purpose
You may want someone to hear what happened without turning it into a dispute about whether you should feel that way. A listener can ask questions and check their understanding while leaving decisions with you. Our guide to being a good listener describes those everyday habits.
For example, “I want you to understand why that conversation mattered to me” sets a different purpose from “Tell me why the other person is terrible.” These are suggested examples, not accounts of real calls.
You can ask for listening without asking the listener to agree with every interpretation. They may understand that you are hurt while remaining uncertain about another person’s intentions.
Notice when a conversation is becoming circular
You might notice that you are repeating the same accusations, rehearsing a future confrontation or leaving no room for another perspective. The listener may be adding increasingly angry guesses about what someone else meant.
These are reasons to consider a pause, not a diagnosis. Repeating a story can have different meanings, and someone should not be shamed for needing to speak about a difficult experience more than once.
Ask: “Is this conversation doing what I hoped, or are we just getting more worked up?” You can change the direction without pretending the original event was acceptable or that the problem has disappeared.
Agree what you want before starting
A short opening can make expectations clearer: “Could you listen for a few minutes? I am not looking for solutions yet.” Ask whether the other person has time and energy. A friend is allowed to suggest another time or explain their limits.
You might agree to check in after a while rather than setting a rule that you must talk until you feel better. If you want to make that request at the start, see how to vent without advice. If advice becomes useful later, ask for it. If the conversation is tiring, you can finish even when the issue is unresolved.
Choose a suitable place and respect other people’s privacy. Avoid sharing identifying details in a public post when you would not want them passed on. A private conversation and a public accusation have different consequences.
What to try if you want to pause
You could say, “I am repeating myself. Can we stop this topic for now?” Another option is to write down the practical question you want to revisit later, so you are not trying to resolve everything in one sitting.
The NHS inform anger guide discusses rumination: getting stuck going over something rather than learning from it. Its self-help information may be a useful starting point if anger is becoming a recurring difficulty.
Do not send a confrontational message simply because a conversation has made you feel certain for a moment. Give yourself room to consider whether you need accurate information, a practical boundary or qualified advice about the underlying issue.
When a conversation is not enough
If anger, distress or repetitive thoughts are affecting your daily life, speak to your GP or another appropriate healthcare professional. Ordinary listening does not assess a condition or replace treatment.
If you are frightened of someone, being threatened or worried you may hurt yourself or another person, seek appropriate help promptly. Do not treat a booked chat as a plan for managing an emergency.
If the quiet hours are difficult, our night-time loneliness guide includes support outside appointment times. Check availability rather than assuming a friend or paid service is always on call.
Where a booked listening call fits
A befriending call can provide a scheduled opportunity for ordinary conversation. It is not anger management, therapy, counselling or a promise that venting will improve how you feel.
If you want to explore the practical details, read about our listening service by phone. Let’s Just Talk OK is for adults aged 18 and over, and appointments depend on the booking calendar. You choose what to share and can discuss an ordinary interest rather than a problem.
If you need urgent help
If someone’s life is at risk, or you cannot keep yourself or someone else safe, call 999 or go to A&E. In England, for urgent mental-health help, call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option, or ask for an urgent GP appointment. See the NHS urgent-help guidance.
Samaritans offers free listening support, day or night, on 116 123. See Samaritans contact information and our urgent-help page. Do not wait for a booked befriending call in an emergency.
Sources checked: 3 November 2026. This is general information, not a medical assessment.
