Your twenties and thirties can look busy from the outside and still feel lonely. You might work with people all day, keep up with a group chat and have plans at the weekend, yet miss having someone nearby who knows what everyday life is really like for you.
This guide is for adults aged 18 and over. It looks at changes that can leave younger adults feeling disconnected, with practical ways to build contact that fits your circumstances. There is no deadline by which you should have found your people.
Is loneliness common in young adults?
It is not only an experience of later life. In the ONS Opinions and Lifestyle Survey for 7 January to 1 February 2026, 27% of adults aged 16 to 29 in Great Britain reported feeling lonely often, always or some of the time. The figure was 28% for ages 30 to 49, compared with 19% for ages 50 to 69 and 16% for ages 70 and over.
Those are broad age groups, and the youngest includes 16- and 17-year-olds. They do not give a separate rate for people in their thirties, show why anyone feels lonely or describe every young adult. They do show that feeling lonely while young is not an unusual contradiction. For more context, see our loneliness statistics guide.
Why your usual connections can change
Leaving a ready-made social setting
School, college or university may have brought you into contact with the same people repeatedly. After leaving, meeting up can require messages, travel and matching several work schedules. Friendship may still matter to everyone even though the opportunities have changed.
If you are still studying, our guide to feeling lonely at university considers campus life and student support. Outside education, the question may become where you can see familiar people regularly without arranging a special event every time.
Starting work or working remotely
A first job can bring a lot to learn and few people you feel comfortable confiding in. Remote work may mean your closest colleagues live far away. A stream of messages about tasks is not necessarily the same as an ordinary chat.
You could try a short optional catch-up with a colleague or spend a break somewhere you regularly see people. Keep work boundaries that matter to you. Our remote-working loneliness guide explores this setting in more detail.
Friends move into different stages
Some people are parenting, some are single, others are caring for relatives or managing health problems. Income, energy and spare time can differ sharply. The old Friday-night plan may no longer suit the whole group.
Try asking what is possible now rather than treating the old routine as the only way the friendship counts. A daytime walk, a voice note or a shorter visit may be easier to sustain. Our previous article in this series, loneliness as a new mum, looks at one such change.
Feeling lonely in your thirties
You might feel that everyone else has settled into a relationship, a neighbourhood or a dependable friendship circle. It can be uncomfortable to admit you want more connection when you think you should already have it.
There is no single timetable for building a social life. A move, separation or changing job can alter it at any age. Begin with the gap you want to address: someone local to do things with, a close friend to talk to, or people who share a particular part of your experience.
That distinction matters. More events may not answer a wish for a close conversation. Equally, one trusted person may not provide the wider circle you miss. The loneliness hub explains different kinds of connection.
Try one manageable way to reconnect
Make the invitation specific
“We should catch up” can remain a good intention for months. An invitation with a simple activity and a possible time is easier to answer. For example: “Would you fancy a half-hour walk on Sunday? It would be good to catch up properly.” This is illustrative wording, not a customer story.
Leave room for a different time or a no. One unavailable friend does not settle whether you are wanted. If you keep doing all the organising, you can also decide how much effort you want to give that particular connection.
Look for repeat contact
Consider something you could attend more than once: a local class, volunteering session, accessible interest group or moderated online community. Check the cost, venue, transport and expectations before committing. You are allowed to ask whether newcomers can watch first or bring someone.
The aim does not have to be making a best friend on the first visit. Learning two names or recognising a familiar face can be a reasonable beginning. Our guide to making friends as an adult has further ideas.
Make online contact useful to you
A direct message to someone you care about can serve a different purpose from scrolling through everybody’s highlights. Notice which online spaces leave you feeling connected and which leave you comparing your life with a polished snapshot.
You can change your habits without leaving every platform. Try using a group to arrange an actual conversation, muting an account you find upsetting or setting aside time for a hobby away from the feed.
For a closer look at comparison, scrolling and online friendships, read loneliness and social media.
When you need more support
You do not have to solve loneliness before asking for help. If you are struggling with low mood, anxiety or everyday tasks, speak to your GP. The NHS loneliness guidance includes support routes and suggests starting with small steps.
You can ask someone you trust for a conversation without explaining everything at once. Our guide to asking for help offers ways to say what you need.
If you prefer to think ahead before speaking, our guide to preparing for a venting call includes ways to decide what you want to share.
Urgent help
If someone’s life is at risk or you cannot keep yourself or someone else safe, call 999 or go to A&E. In England, for urgent mental health support, call NHS 111 and select the mental health option, or request an urgent GP appointment. See the NHS urgent-help guidance and our urgent help page.
For free listening support, Samaritans is available on 116 123, day or night.
If you would like an ordinary conversation
For adults aged 18 and over, our someone to talk to service offers booked, phone-only befriending. It is an option for everyday conversation, not therapy, counselling or crisis support.
Sources checked 3 November 2026. Survey figures describe the stated period, population and question, rather than a prediction about an individual.
